vespertine
by hyperphonic
Summary: Father says she's healing, but the younger Jaeger can't help but feel she's hiding. halloween fic/unbeta'd


**honestly: **this wrote itself at mach nine and i still haven't read it all the way through. please forgive any petty mistakes. (i'm off to perform five shows in one day.)

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><p>I. When Mikasa is nine, her family is killed. To young eyes, the grain of the floor seems to rise as parched wood drinks in her father's blood. Vampires, she learns as the hot breath fans against her neck, are creatures far darker than the shadows under her bed. Rain drums a staccato to counter her heart against the roof and the young girl finds herself frozen by the luminous gaze and the drop of her mother's body to the floor.<p>

She is the last living pulse in her house, and the night is closing in.

When Eren and his father rush through the darkened door, it is only to find Mikasa left among the bodies, sooty eyes shut and cheek pressed firmly to the crimson stained wood.

"I thought they'd leave less blood," the Hunter-in-training whispers, green eyes wide as he stares from behind his father's leg. Born as he was to combat the fiends, Eren was still young, and unused to the brutality that Vampires left in their wake.

His father shed the thick leather of his jacket slowly, and bent to press cool fingers against the girl's neck. "Not always," a rattling sigh, "and not if they're desperate."

With a reluctant sigh, Grisha pulls the small girl into his arms and jerks his chin to the jacket lying across an upset table. "Bring that to cover her up," Eren can feel his hands shaking, "she's still alive."

Together they walk to the carriage and the small boy pouts when his father deposits their patient against him. "Eren," his voice is low and rough like the stubble along his jaw. "Watch the girl, I'm going to check the woods."

II. The rain doesn't let up for three days. Even in their estate, its drum is omnipresent, and Eren thinks it's good that the fragile girl from the cabin hasn't yet managed to wake. Certainly the rain would bring back unpleasant memories, and that's the last thing he wants.

In the days since her rescue, and subsequent assimilation into the family, Eren's worked beside his mother and father to slowly urge the girl (Mikasa, her father murmurs on the second night, medical file in hand) back from the brink. Now, her cheeks flush the palest of pinks against their cool white sheets, and the rise and fall of her chest is plain as day.

Eren's not sure where the flare of protectiveness in his gut has sprung from, but he does know it started the second she sighed against his neck as they rode home _that night_. Mikasa is small, broken beneath the dusk of her eyelids and false calm of her slumber. Father says she's healing, but the younger Jaeger can't help but feel she's hiding.

III. On the fourth day, when the rain has lessened to a drizzle, and fog closes in around the towering roofline, she wakes. Eren is alone beside her bed, and the sudden clench of her fists against the duvet sends his heart into overdrive. For a silent, albeit tense, moment the two children stare at one another, and then Mikasa breaks.

Thin shoulders tremble with the force of her sobs, and Eren finds himself fearing she'll shake apart all together. "Hey," he gasps as he clamors up onto the bed, clumsy with adrenaline. "Hey, don't cry please." Soft hands come up to gently curl around her arms.

Grey eyes snap to his, and for a second Eren forgets to breathe entirely. "You're safe," he murmurs, and Mikasa's lips tremble with a sigh. "My name is Eren," his palms drop to fold in his lap, and the young boy tries not to look as embarrassed as he is. "Eren?" She returns, soprano voice torn and low with sleep and screams (he is reminded of the nightmares that racked her small frame, and suppresses a shiver).

"Eren." He affirms, before offering a small smile, "My father and I were the Hunters dispatched to your house." Her gaze drops, and though he doesn't know it, the rush in his chest as one cold cold hand curls around his is the beginning of something big.

IV. Mikasa rests only a few days more after waking, and before he knows it, Eren has himself a training partner. Day in and day out, the two devote their time to Hunting, to the study of their prey and the execution thereof. Grisha tutors the two after Academy hours, bending low over ancient tomes and drilling them on the etiquette of Vampire Hunting. His friend's eyes go tight every time they dwell too long on the specifics of attacks, and Eren almost wishes there was a correlation between their topics of study and her night terrors.

If that were the case, he could keep her from ever having to listen to accounts of famous slaughters. But there's no connection in the slightest, and so he runs to her room every night after their lessons, arms spread wide to hold her small frame.

"Eren," she whimpers against his neck, fingers clenched desperately in the thin cotton of his sleep shirt. The Hunter-to-be cannot bring himself to reply, and so holds her closer still and rubs small circles against her back and the nape of her damp neck.

V. When Eren turns twelve, Grisha gives him a pistol. Beautifully crafted and engraved with vines so tangled the boy goes cross eyed trying to follow them, it's weight is dreadfully heavy in his slowly callusing palms. "To protect," his father rumbles, "to save," he adds, dark eyes hardening slightly. Mikasa stands beside him, swathed in the red of his scarf and hiding her nose behind the wool.

"Happy birthday," she smiles against the knit, and offers him a carefully wrapped box of what turns out to be ammunition.

VI. When _Mikasa _turns twelve she gets a tattoo. It sprawls across her neck and one of its tips kisses the top of her collarbone. Eren follows its sharp lines with his eyes, and furrows his brows when she catches him. "It's not pretty." She mumbles, and tugs his scarf up over the hard black lines. Eren doesn't say anything, but he's definitely not sure he agrees.

"I got you this," he laughs, and throws the end of his scarf over her face. (There's a carefully baked cake in the kitchen, but he doesn't tell her that just yet.)

VII. The Jaeger household is less of a household and more of an estate. It sets a half-day's ride away from the rest of Shiganshina's sprawling architecture, and is home to the most prestigious academy the Hunter's Association has to offer. The tall man's smile is soft when Mikasa asks to enroll, bangs damp from their spar, and thirteen-year-old eyes haunted. "Of course," Grisha nods, and brings his forearm down in a measured attack.

The airy halls of the inner courtyard seem far bigger than they ever have before as Mikasa and Eren step lightly out of their quarters and into the rush of students. Members of the Academy both new and old push past them, and Mikasa finds herself clinging to Eren's arm to keep from losing her step.

"It never looked this busy from our window," he bends down to whisper in her ear, and the overwhelmed girl gives an awestruck nod.

VIII. By the time they turn seventeen, Eren and Mikasa no longer feel dwarfed by the high ceilings and older students of the Academy. It's their home, and hunting a field both excel in. Much like the days before enrollment, their days are spent in classes and their nights further training under Eren's father.

In the years since they began to train as students of the Academy, Mikasa has slowly withdrawn into herself. Eren notices it in the eerie silence of her room at night, and the way her shoulders pull in as they push through the crowded halls. He misses the days where her thin hands would curl around his bicep as they soldiered through the halls, or her soft knock would ring through his room at all hours of the night. Her emotions are no longer for him to see, no longer for _anyone _to see. And the Hunter can't help but wonder what she's hiding from (for certainly that's what it is).

IX. The letter sits crisp against the worn wood of their kitchen table, white envelope nearly sinister as the two almost-adults stare at it. "We should open it." Eren murmurs, one calloused finger reaching out to trace the embossed edge. "Yeah," Mikasa agrees, and the tremor of her voice is the most emotion Eren thinks he's seen out of her all month.

"Why is there only one?" She wonders aloud, and shaking the suspense off his back like a wet dog, Eren snatches the ominous letter to tear it open.

"Mr. Jaeger and Ms. Ackerman," he begins, and Mikasa feels like her stomach is about to drop to the floor, "after reviewing your test scores and reports of your fieldwork," his eyes light up. "We at the Hunter's Association are proud to pair you as a team for the duration of your career."

"Holy shit!" The brunet exclaims and, throwing aside all semblance of maturity, bounds forward to pull his partner in for a tight hug.

Mikasa's hands curl into the fabric of his uniform jacket, and Eren can't help but grin wildly into her hair as they both laugh gaily. "I'm so happy," the girl he probably-maybe-loves mumbles into his shoulder, and Eren fights the urge to whoop.

X. He definitely loves her. There's no question once they begin to train together as a team. It's in the dark of her hair and the hard edge her eyes take on when they stare down the barrel of her gun. Gone is the small girl he cradled through night terrors and taught not to fear the shadows, gone and grown into a woman of such prowess that his throat goes dry when they spar.

Their teamwork is flawless, and though Mikasa still maintains her even façade, Eren knows it's only out of habit (and whatever fact eats at her heart when he's not looking). He doesn't know when he'll find out the cause, _if _he'll find out the cause, but he does know that he'll support her to the very end regardless.

XI. One stormy night half a year into their official partnership, Eren does.

The assignment was a routine one at best: find the Base Vampire, destroy it, and destroy any it might have changed. The local was a run down farming town just outside the Shiganshina district, right where the hills began to roll with windswept shrubs. "We should split up," Mikasa murmurs as they tie their horses to a sturdy tree, the skeletal buildings rising ahead of them like the bones of some felled giant. "One to enter the area and one to fall back with long range weapons."

As always, her plan is sure, and though his gut twists at the idea of either of them facing a Vampire descended to madness alone, Eren acquiesces.

"Alright," he nods, "I'll take point."

It's clear the town had ground to a halt in lieu of the attacks. Between the light drizzle beginning to fall around him, and the wary eyes of the townspeople watching from the windows, Eren knows how easy it'd be for a Vampire to hide among them.

XII. Years of training and practical application lead Eren (and Mikasa's even footsteps on the roofline above him) to the poorest area of the small village. Pestilence follows Vampires like hunting hounds, and the easiest way to hide pestilence was poverty.

The young man wishes they'd been given a physical description of the beast, and hunches his shoulders against a gust of rain and wind.

"Sir!" A young girl (no older than thirteen) calls from a dimly lit doorway to his right, "you're a Hunter?" Warily, Eren nods, and notes the halt of Mikasa's footsteps against soaked shingles. "My brother's been bit," he draws closer, until the panic and pallid cast of her face shines bright against the dark of the foyer.

"_Shit_" he swears, and Mikasa drops to stand beside him. "Let us see," she demands.

XIII. The house smells like death. It takes hold in the back of Mikasa's throat, and mingles with the omnipresent burn. "Eren," she whispers as they enter behind the ailing boy's sister, "I don't think this is going to be good." Green eyes glance over one strong shoulder, and the boy she's loved since before they'd enrolled gives a resigned nod. "But we need to check."

If they could gauge the age of the bite, they could determine whether or not the target was still within this tiny town. "He's in here," their host mumbles, emaciated hands (painfully reminiscent of Mikasa's when she'd first come into his home) pushing open the door to a cramped room. The run down abode was lit only by the light of a dying fire in a small hearth, it's weak glow falling on a bundle of blankets and boy in the far corner.  
>"Oh," Eren breathes, taken aback by the sallow gaunt of his cheeks. It was clear that the bite had been deep, and that the Turn was already well underway. "Mikasa," he calls, beckoning her over with one numb hand.<p>

There's a moments pause, and when her familiar scent doesn't draw near, Eren glances up at the two females in the doorway. "I'm coming," his partner replies, grey eyes breaking cooly away from the shorter girl as she strides over to where he's crouched. "I think we can save him," Eren begins, watching sadly as Mikasa's hands go to tilt the comatose patient's head and inspect his throat (they shake, and he can see the broken furrow of her brows).

"No." One calloused thumb brushes the length of the boy's unblemished jugular and her brows furrow. "We should kill him now."

Eren's eyes go wide, and the girl behind them gives a shriek.

"It's too late, if we let him live he'll just descend into madness," the dark woman rose, hair shielding her face from Eren's view as one pale hand drew her firearm. He shot to his feet, heart racing and stomach churning. "_Mikasa, don't be hasty_-" but the desperate bid is cut short by the drop of her firing pin and the smell of cordite.

For a second there is only silence save for the ejecting of Mikasa's round, then almost louder than the gunshot, "_kinslayer!" _ And she was racing towards them, eyes wild.

"That's you, actually" The young Ackerman snarled, simultaneously turning and chambering her pistol. An inhuman growl began to build in her thin chest, and before Eren could so much as draw his gun the emaciated girl had leapt towards his partner.

Another round fired, and this time the ejected round was lost under the sick sound of a body hitting the floor.

XIV. They rode home in silence.

The drizzle had built to a downpour by the time the pair mounted their steeds. Between the drum of hooves and the dark of Mikasa's eyes, Eren couldn't bring himself to speak, though he felt like the events in the small croft were going to eat right through his stomach.

It wasn't adding up in the least, Mikasa had always been collected, but never cruel like that before. Desperate cries and gunshots rang through his mind as he watched the girl in question hunch over her saddle. It had all been too eerie: the inconsolable sadness in Mikasa's eyes as she looked at the comatose boy, and the quick change to cold fury as her gun turned towards his sister.

It's not until they're sat at their kitchen table, far away from the drizzly town and the sound of dying Vampires that he decides to ask. "Mikasa," she looks up from the mission report, pen poised over the paper. "How could you tell the girl was responsible?" Grey eyes drop back to the paper and Eren leans closer, "Mikasa, she wasn't displaying any outward signs."

Dark brows furrow behind still damp bangs and his almost-more-than-a-partner doesn't answer. "There was no way to tell, what if she hadn't been the target?"

"But she _was_ the target." Mikasa bit, pen dropping to hash out _parents dead, killed but not turned._

Eren drew closer, one hand reaching out to curl around a cool wrist. "Mikasa.." Her gaze leveled on his throat, "what's _wrong?" _He didn't know if he meant immediately, or if he was referring to the something that had been eating her alive since they'd turned twelve, but the question was out so it was too late to worry.

"I," she bit her lip. "Eren.." the pen was dropped in favor of cupping a palm over her tattoo. "D'you remember when I first came here?"

Their fingers tangled, and Eren nodded, "of course, you were comatose for almost five days."

And then he freezes, cries of _kinslayer _echoing in his head.

XV. "I didn't tell you because it wasn't actively a problem until two years ago." Grisha grumbles from behind his desk, Mikasa's mission report in hand. Eren throws his hands up in frustration and the elder Jaeger gives a tired sigh. "We were able to control it between the tattoo and research from the Hunter's Association, Eren." The thin report is set neatly aside, "she's in no danger of descending to a Base," The young Hunter feels a weight lift from his shoulders. "But it's by no means an ideal existence."

XVI. Two days after the fiasco in the farming town, Eren finds her contemplating a nondescript box of pills in their shared bathroom. "Blood tablets?" He asks, leaning against the doorway. Mikasa jumps nearly nine feet in the air, and the Hunter gives an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Her grey eyes are indescribably sad, and Mikasa gives a nod. "It's better than having someone's blood on my hands." Eren nods and moves to sit beside her on the counter. "But a bite to feed won't turn someone, right?" She nods again. "They're totally different. But a bite is still a bite."

Thin shoulders rise and fall in a heavy sigh, and Eren tugs on her arm till she's standing between his legs. "I don't mind, you know." Calloused palms begin to massage her neck, working out knots and clear signs of stress. "Eren," she warns, turning partially to give him a panicked stare.

"Not biting," he clarifies, lips pulling into a crooked grin. "Though, if you ever really _do _need to feed.." Mikasa's face flushes and she turns away, leaning back into his hands as he continues. "But the Vampire part." Swallowing thickly, he presses his lips to the nape of her neck. "I don't mind at all."

He feels rather than hears her sigh of relief, and ceases his ministrations to wrap corded arms around her waist. "Dad told me you were worried I'd want to break our partnership." She swallows thickly, "Mikasa, is this why you started pulling away?"

The nod she gives in response is slow, and Eren thinks he can hear his heart breaking. "I'd never," his lips come to press against her pulse, then the smooth slope of her shoulder, "Let that change how I view you."

She turns in his arms, a flurry of damp hair and bright eyes, and the next thing Eren knows, they're kissing and Vampirism is the last thing on his mind.

XVII. The next morning Eren wakes to Mikasa asleep in his arms, and a pleasant buzz settled deep in his bones. Her breath fans out across his bare chest, and from where his head is cushioned among the pillows he can trace each sharp line of her tattoo as it sprawls across her neck and over bite marks left from the night before.

This, he thinks, is far better than any bounty.

XVIII. After that fateful night, the two settle into a relationship as natural as breathing. They'd been teetering so dangerously close to romance since their teen years that to finally bridge that gap changed almost nothing at all. They still sparred together, and ate together and Hunted together. Rapidly the Association was recognizing them as the strongest up and coming pair, tied neck and neck for missions with Arlert and Leonhardt.

"Really, the only notable difference" Eren joked one day as he slipped a ring onto her finger, "is that we share a bed now too."


End file.
